The Almighty

Yo! was browsing for some stuff when i saw jokes abt CHUCK NORRIS!~ WTF? ah the guy who got his ass wipped by bruce lee in "La fureur du dragon" and still alive :s .. i read some of them and i pissed off my pants.. here goes

The pen is mighter than the sword, but only if the pen is held by Chuck Norris.

When Chuck does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

Scotty in Star Trek often says "Ye cannae change the laws of physics." This is untrue. Chuck Norris can change the laws of physics. With his fists.

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Let the Bodies Hit the Floor" was originally written as Chuck Norris' theme song.

Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.

The Drummer for Def Leppard's only got one arm. Chuck Norris needed a back scratcher.

With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.

To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, ever. Do you call one roundhouse kick to the face a fight?

Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.

It is said that every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Every time God masturbates, Chuck Norris kills a lion.

Mr. DJ

Hello friends....

After weeks of silence i finally got something to share. I was out for the entire week-end coz there was a party at my couzin's and was the guy who would be providing music. that was supposed to be some "routine" entertainment till one of my other couz called to tell he wont be able to provide us with his power speakers.... No need to say that everyone was in some sort of panic. Fortunately we found another guy to provide speakers and to my surprise he was a dj too. i was like intimidated by his equipment as i had only my PC...

7P.M saturday - the guests started to move in ... ahhhh forgot to mention: Girls bday = MANY girls haahah..
The dj was playing some kenny G stuff ... and i was busy welcoming the fresh meat :P

9p.m everybody was wondering when they would hear something to dance ... and errmm .. the Dj was still with his "music en sourdine" stuff. Went to see him and told him its time to push the decibels and start the party... sure he got some tunes ... but after another 30 mins nobody was on the dancefloor ...

Here comes the good part hehee....

some of the ppl who knew me started to tell me to go there and show what i got .. and one of my cousins made things worse... he proposed a DJ battle between me and the other guy. Connected my stuf to his mixer and let him do the opening ... then while he was still messing around i just cut his channel dry and a " PUT UR HANDS UP FOR DETROIT" announced the house session .... everybody screamed and rushed to shake their ass ... "DJ Dan! DJ Dan!" they shouted Frantically.. Wow That was euphoric and i felt like being a supa star ... that also helped to calm the shakes i was gettin...

The other guy was so pissed, i could read that Hatred expression on his face ... hey isnt my fault if ur crap dude! He got nothing (tunes and talent) to answer to my demo... and then asked me to continue to mix till the end ... i kept the dancefloor full till 3.am ...

Said that, i seriously think abt buying some equipment a hercules MK2 console to begin wih ( Mixing on a keyboard doesn't give a serious "pro" look.)
i will skip the technical detail coz i think i wrote enuff. Waitin for my couz to send me the pics .. :D